Will Forte says a spirit once warned him he’d be stabbed to death at 73

Will Forte is a man that likes to tempt fate. On the latest episode of fellow Saturday Night Live alum Rachel Dratch’s Woo Woo podcast, Forte recalls asking a Ouija board as a teen when and how he was going to die.

According to the spirits of the afterworld, Forte, now 54, has until 73, at which age he will be stabbed to death. Or will he?

Forte admitted that he was a little pain in the ass at 16 or 17 when he thought Ouija was “so dumb.” He had been interested in a girl at the time and went over to her house, where he met a self-proclaimed witch. When they whipped out the board and started asking it questions, Forte realized something strange was indeed happening.

“I would ask questions of this Ouija board that nobody else would know the answers to, and it would get the answers correct. And so I was pretty blown away,” the Last Man on Earth star said. “I was thinking, like, is there a way that my hands are moving it because I know the answer? … I was trying not to push it all, but it was pretty nuts — like my grandma’s middle name, that kind of stuff.”

Forte noted that some of the spirits they encountered were “kind of aggressive and violent,” so the witch had warned them to be careful. So what does teenaged Will Forte do?

“I would be putting the spirit down, trying to get him really angry,” said the man formerly known as MacGruber. “I’m sure I told him he had a small penis or something like that.”

He added, “But, like, it really did get kind of kind of scary.”

Forte, still skeptical, had the nerve to ask the Ouija board when and how he was going to die.

“I found out that I was going to die at at the age of 73 by stabbing,” he reported to an incredulous Dratch. “I’ve got 19 years left.”

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Dratch thought this sounded “extreme” and said she didn’t believe it, and neither did Forte … that much, though he admitted from “time to time,” whenever he recounts this story, he wonders that “when I’m 72, when I’m nearing the end, do I, like, start looking into Kevlar, full body Kevlar suits?”

But there’s good news on the spiritual front. At the end of each episode, Dratch and her cohost Irene Bremis have their guest ask a yes or no question to their pendulum. When Forte asked if he would actually die at 73 of a stabbing, the pendulum said no, thus negating the Ouija board. Or something to that effect.

Either way, the moral of the story is don’t mock a ghost’s dick. Which should really go without saying.

Listen to Forte’s full episode of Woo Woo below.