John Mulaney Duane Reades NYC for Filth in His Latest SNL Musical

On his sixth round hosting Saturday Night Live, John Mulaney has truly established himself as a (Port) Authority on sketches about questionable decisions like ordering lobster at a diner, using a bodega bathroom, or just the concept of Times Square in general. Mulaney’s latest entry in his musical saga finds him behind the cash register of a Duane Reade at the Port Authority Bus Terminal, where Pete Davidson wants to buy a gallon of milk. “You mean the gallon of milk surrounded by cans of Twisted iced tea in the fridge that’s hotter than the rest of the store?” This nasty choice, it turns out, is just as the prophecy foretold, setting off a “Circle of Life” parody about possum milk sung by Ego Nwodim and Kenan Thompson in costumes reminiscent of Broadway’s The Lion King.

Then, they have a run of topical mini-numbers, including Chloe Fineman leading a crew of twinks to the Timothée Chalamet lookalike contest, an Aladdin riff about Eric Adams’s Turkish Airlines scandal, and Andy Samberg playing RFK Jr.’s “Baby Bear Carcass” in a bear suit, cementing his status of Biggest Cutie in History. Samberg rapping “How does a bastard orphan son of a bear and another bear …” almost makes up for the sketch’s biggest sin: Marcello Hernandez playing a jailed shampoo bottle, in reference to how pharmacies now put essentials behind lock and key, set to the tune of “Do Re Mi.” This is a crime. “Cell Block Tango” was right! There! It should have been a shampoo, a deodorant, a bottle of Advil, et cetera, doing the “Cell Block Tango!” A disgraceful missed opportunity. For shame.